Apr. 30th, 2010 08:27 pm
mk_tortie: (holy grail king arthur)
So... I'm back. And I'll be posting most days from now on, at least for the next month or so, and then as often as I can after that. This is because at the end of May I'm doing a roadtrip across various bits of the continent, then moving to Vienna, and then I'm moving to Toronto, and I'd rather like to document all of this. You can therefore expect photos, among other things!

Here's what I've been doing since I last posted... )

I have been following my f-list even though I haven't been posting, so I have some idea what you're all up to, but come tell me your exciting news and anything I may have missed in the last 6 months!


May. 14th, 2008 10:38 pm
mk_tortie: (dark to stick it in)
Post from earlier deleted. It was a bit unnecessary - I really shouldn't post whilst still upset! Instead I'm going to post about the good parts of my day, since I'm feeling happier now :) Mostly the fact that my bento box arrived! So tomorrow I'm going to make bento to take with me to the tour I'm going on as research for my new job.

Life is good, and I am resolute that I want to be what I want to be. Nothing like your dreams being threatened to know how much you really want them!!

(I don't know if my icon is readable, but it says 'you can't have a light without a dark to stick it in'. Very apt. And something I should remember more often!!)


May. 14th, 2008 09:10 am
mk_tortie: (who am i)

This (from German postsecret) really scares me sometimes. Not that I'm actually at the stage where it could happen, but just that I find myself thinking in German without intending to, or I only know the German word to describe a particular moment, and half of me is pleased and half of me is afraid. Every time I think about this it reminds me of a poem we had to read when I was at school: (particularly the second part)

Search for My Tongue by Sujata Bhatt )

mk_tortie: (happy penguin!)
The weather and some stuff that's happened this week has finally combined to lift my mood, hurrah!! My grandparents are here until Monday, which is cool (free food and sightseeing, which I never get around to doing otherwise). I've got a job interview for the tour guide company I really really want to work for this summer, this afternoon. So I'm happy :) I really hope the interview goes well - I have no fears of being able to perform the tour ('perform' being the operative word - it's got to be entertaining), it's just convincing them that I can do it that's the stumbling point. But fingers crossed...

I also finally finished tidying my room. I've still got a few things to sort out, but at least it's done now! So that's helped with the happiness-making. And finally, and best of all, I now have TWO people interested in playing my songs with me, so we're going to meet up on Tuesday and have a jam session. In fact, by Tuesday, there might even be more people...

So all in all, this weekend is looking pretty good :) And a friend of mine from uni in London is here as well, so I'm going to meet up with her tomorrow or Sunday. Yayageness!
mk_tortie: (tiger)
Ruminations about my own personality... probably not all that interesting! )

(And GIP for the new one I stole from... somewhere... can't actually remember where!)
mk_tortie: (drunk cat)
Funny story:

In order to do language courses at the language learning centre at the Humboldt, you have to do an online test. It lasts 30 mins and consists of 5 paragraphs where the second half of every second word is taken away. You have to fill the gaps, and you get a mark out of one hundred at the end, and that says what level classes you can do.

So, I want to take some classes for French, German and Spanish next semester, because it's way cheaper than at King's so I might as well! I did the French test first, and got 77/100, which pleasantly surprised me because that puts me at a similar level to my German 6 months ago, which is good because I've barely spoken French for over two years. So all well and good there. Then I did the Spanish one, and got 37/100, which is fine because my Spanish is awful. Then I did the German one...

Now, by this time I'd already spent an hour doing this, and I was feeling fairly blasé about the German test because I've already done it twice, and I got over 80 both times, and I've been speaking German for 6 months pretty much all day every day... so I did the test fairly quickly, didn't bother checking it over too hard, and clicked on the 'mark test' button after 10 out of the 30 mins.

I got 70/100.... which puts me in a lower level class than for French!!


It's not really a problem because I've already done one German course there at the level I should be at, so all I need to do is take my certificate from then and show it to them (and say 'listen to me talking German to you. I should be in the high level class', as well) but it was kind of embarrassing... oh well.

(And I am slightly tipsy right now, hence the marvellous excuse to use my new icon, hee)
mk_tortie: (little book of calm)
I realised that all I've talked about for aaages is uni, so I thought I'd write something about other, possibly more interesting things that I've got going on atm:

  • I'm going back to London on Saturday and staying for a whole month with Trev (hooray!) Going to try and get a job too, because if I can get temp work doing telesales in German, I can earn loads : - like, a grand in 3 weeks, which would be pretty nice. Especially when I'm only paying rent in Berlin!

  • I'm going into the studio in Hampshire on Wednesday to put down the 3 songs I've written since I last recorded - a pitiful number really, since I last recorded about a year ago, but it's better than nothing. So my myspace may actually get an update for once! It might actually be 4 songs by then if the one I half wrote the other night gets finished in the next two days - but I'll be keyboard-less in London so I won't be writing anything there. Oh well. I plan to look for a band, anyway, to get some gigs in at the end of the month. I hope that actually works out, it would be really fun!

  • The Danish guy I did my last presentation with is really, really cute. Which is a sign I need to go back to London and spend time with Trev, I'm obviously suffering from boy-withdrawal!! He wants to play guitar for me when I try and put together a band here in April though, which would be cool because he's a pretty good guitarist.

  • I plan on spending lots of time cooking in London. I've really got into it recently, and especially if I'm cooking for two people rather than just me, it's fun to try out new and interesting things :) So I might put up photos if I make anything that actually looks edible (I have a tendency to go for taste before appearance... which I suppose is actually no bad thing, but still!)

OK, enough of the lists, that's about it on the interesting things front. Apart from the fact that I've discovered I can charm people at parties here by telling them I live opposite the russian disco (which is true). Seems to make them suddenly think I'm waaaaay cooler than I actually am... heh.
mk_tortie: (me)
I've had this weird feeling all day. I've been trying to work it out, and there's all sorts of things I could blame it on, but I think it might be that I feel really... well, homeless, except that is a bit of a stupid way of putting it. Because in Berlin, I have a flat, but it's not 'home' because I'm only here until September, so whilst I can make it homely, there's too many things to remind me that it's not home. And my parents house.. well, is exactly that. Because it's not somewhere that feels like mine. I feel like a guest when I'm there. Weirdly, I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I can't shut myself away and play the piano when I'm there, because my piano is in a communal room that can't be closed off. I guess that equals me not feeling entirely at home there, because the thing about my old house was that I could shut myself away, write a song or play for hours, and just completely and utterly play away whatever was the problem. I can't do that here, and I can't do that at my parents'. So it's my parent's house, not my home.

The closest thing I have is the house in London, but right now I don't live there, I don't have a room there, and I feel very much like an intruder if I let myself in unannounced, so that's not home either. So what is? I want home to be where the people I love are, and to be somewhere permanent (and to have a room where I can shut myself away and play the piano and play out everything that's wrong/right/confused) but that can't happen, none of those things; the people I love are never going to be all in one place, meaning I have to choose between them; 'Permanent' won't happen til I leave uni - maybe won't happen til I buy my own place; really song-writing away my issues can't happen until those other two things are fulfilled, because otherwise I don't feel comfortable enough to really let my feelings come to the surface enough to recognise and write about them. I nearly reached that point last summer in London, but then the prospect of moving to Germany hung over my head again and I haven't written a whole song since August.

I think the feeling is homelessness, and the inability to do anything about that.
mk_tortie: (cat chasing butterflies)
There's quite a lot of things I really want to do in life, and I've been trying to work out recently how to make them compatible.

Fairly lengthy, so cut to avoid f-list killing! )
mk_tortie: (childhood past)
Once when I was about 10 and at school, my teacher was talking to us all about how people have things they always do when they're tired, or bored, and she asked the class what we thought we did. I, not having an amazingly long attention span for things I don't find very interesting, was sat on the mat singing to myself under my breath, and I remember quite exactly that she turned to me and said: 'Well, I know what YOU do when you're bored, singing to yourself!'.

Ever since then, whenever I find myself singing without realising it, that moment replays in my mind. Weird, isn't it, how the most insignificant things can stick like that!


mk_tortie: (Default)

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