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I want to go back to Berlin so badly. Not back to the Humboldt, admittedly, but back to being a tour guide and wandering the city and the wonderful feeling of peace it brings. London is not the place for inner peace, and I could really do with some right now. I could also do with a job that actually earned me some money. But that's another matter... I just need to ESCAPE. I'm so worn out with life here. I feel a bit like an automaton, constantly doing all the things I need to do on autopilot and never getting that wonderful feeling of stopping and looking at my life and thinking 'yes. I like this.' Which I got in bucketloads in Berlin.
I'm not deluding myself into thinking it was perfect. There was a lot of unperfectness. But it was unstressful and peaceful and fun and friendly and all the things that London isn't. And more to the point, I didn't feel like I'm gradually no longer understanding where I want to go or what I want to do or anything. Because here, in London, I'm beginning to wonder what the point in pushing onwards is.
:( I miss Berlin.
I'm not deluding myself into thinking it was perfect. There was a lot of unperfectness. But it was unstressful and peaceful and fun and friendly and all the things that London isn't. And more to the point, I didn't feel like I'm gradually no longer understanding where I want to go or what I want to do or anything. Because here, in London, I'm beginning to wonder what the point in pushing onwards is.
:( I miss Berlin.