Faith Issues

I really want to find out stuff about Catholicism, because as may have been obvious, I've been having some issues with God recently, and I just want to... look at things from different angles to find some answers. I find it difficult to contemplate NOT believing... it's not really that. It's more that I'm finding it hard to believe in a benevolent God. Or at least, he's been good to me, but not to people I care about, and I find it hard to believe in a God who's only selectively benevolent. Or rather, not believe, but glorify a God who's only selectively benevolent. And I've prayed, but it seems to do no good. And so I need to find stuff out.

Meh. I am slightly pissed... well, quite pissed... so this may make little sense.