Exit Life Through Window

I just had a bit of a paradigm shift in mood. And I realised that my final year at uni is going to be amazing. I have the world laid out for me. I've already got a gig lined up, I know where I can get more. I'm going to direct an amazing play which will go down in German Society history, at least for the shock factor! (We want to do Justine del Corte's Sex, hehe... I know, I know, I am a small child) As soon as I get back to England (or maybe even before) I'm going to go on an incredible song-writing binge. And even if the essays I'm writing right now get shitty marks, I can still get a first at the end of my degree. Sometimes I still appreciate being able to deal with complicated formulas: I just put all my marks and some fairly pessimistic predictions for what I'm going to get for the rest of my degree into the formula they use for calculating your final grade, and it came out as about 73%. Which is a first! So yay. Not that I'm going to slack, but it makes me feel a bit happier in any case. So hooray for that.

I'm feeling pretty happy right now.

Oh wow... I think I've got it. I think I've got THE song that's going to make me.

Except right now I've only got the chorus... it all hangs in the balance. More news later!

I got the job! Or at least, I'm learning the script now, and in a couple of weeks I'll do an audition tour, and so long as that goes OK I'm in. So fingers crossed :) And I was at a birthday party this evening where they happened to have a piano. When I asked about it, my friend said I could play it if I wanted to, so I just played one of my songs. I wasn't really intending that people listened, I was just enjoying playing a real piano for once, but at the end quite a few people clapped and asked who it was by because they liked it, and were really surprised when I said me! So I'm happy :)

Ooh ooh ooh! I wrote half a song! Which may not sound like much, but when all you've written is shite for 6 months you thank God for small mercies :)

Maybe I should get semi-drunk more often (this as oppose to completely, crash-out-as-soon-as-you-hit-the-bed drunk. Which happens more often. I'm not an alcoholic, I'm an erasmus student!!)

I realise I am giving a bad impression, so good night!

Every so often, I like to look back through my LJ and see what I was thinking a year ago, and then two years ago, and so on. Today I dug out my handwritten journal, which I haven't used in ages, and did the same thing. It's kind of interesting. In LJ, I was saying pretty much the same thing a year ago as I am today!

20/2/2006: http://mk-tortie.livejournal.com/2006/02/20/ - 'Essays make Anna go aaaaargh'
20/2/2005: http://mk-tortie.livejournal.com/2005/02/20/ - I was talking about lacking in self-confidence, and stressing about how my songs were crap. And going to uni open days. Funny, although I still stress about the same things, I think I have moved on from there emotionally. Which is nice to know. Although it may be that I simply have different things to worry about!

I didn't write an entry on the 20/2/2004 - although judging from the closest entry, which is the 23/2, that was because I was in gang show at the time and therefore not actually anywhere near a computer. Gosh, gang show seems YEARS ago. Well, it was 3, I suppose. That's quite scary.

In my personal journal I didn't write anything on the 20/2/2006, but on the 18th, I was worrying about Trev... for pretty much the exact same reasons as this year. Ah well, I guess some things never change. The year before, the closest date I wrote on was the 27th, about how I liked the snow that had been falling, about open days, about talking to guys with some semblance of confidence (heh) and about Dido and Aeneas and the party at Hannah's... actually, that was a good party. My second year at college was pretty good, all things considered.

My journal doesn't go back any further than that - or rather, it does, but in another notebook, which is under my bed at my parent's house. That one goes back to the age of 12 or so, hehe.

And as for today? I was at a rehearsal for music theatre earlier, and have only got to write another 1000 words on my essay. Although I think I may end up going over the word count, which is weird, cos everyone else has had problems reaching it. This poetry essay is the only one I've written that I actually feel is good, though, so I'm feeling happy about it. Just got to finish it now. And I ate a Marks and Sparks ready meal, mmm, and bought strawberry tarts for me and Trev. Yum. And once I've handed in the essays tomorrow, I can go to the German play rehearsals and enjoy myself, and RELAX, and go to the pub afterwards... and all the stress will melt away.

Tomorrow is New Start Wednesday. And it's going to be good :)

Also, I've uploaded some new songs to my myspace, which is here: http://www.myspace.com/annastainton

Go listen and let me know what you think!