Long time no see...
Oct. 17th, 2007 07:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mk_tortieSooo... Germany. I feel like I've been on a five week Fresher's week. It's really weird being here, I keep switching between feeling fantastic, like my German is amazing and I've met some lovely people and the whole thing's going to be fine, and then flipping back to how I feel now, which is... well, complicated.
First of all, I went home at the weekend, and now I feel like I've undone all the improvements I made in four weeks of intensive language course by speaking English for 4 days. It just feels completely stilted when I talk. (But at least I know what THAT is now auf Deutsch - 'abgehackt') Also, because I've finished the speaking course I haven't had anything to do for the last few days, and therefore haven't been seeing people as much as before. This wouldn't have been such a problem were it not for my main issue: my housemate is no longer talking to me.
I first noticed something was a bit off a couple of weeks ago, but put it down to the fact that Trev was about to arrive in Germany and she wasn't going to get to see her bf for another week. But then, last Monday, she stopped talking to me. By the end of Tuesday, when she was still barely saying a word, I asked her if anything was up. She said she was fine, it was just that she 'needed some space for certain things'. Of course, that was fine by me, I told her that if she ever needed me to leave her alone for a while that was fine. Also, we were no longer going to be forced the spend every day together because the speaking course was finished and so we wouldn't be in the same class for everything anymore.
However, then she said 'well, I do have some problems with you, but I don't think it's fair to tell you what they are when it's my issue not yours.' So now I feel like I'm doing something to annoy her, but I have to be on my best behaviour ALL THE TIME so as not to piss her off, since I don't know what it is I'm doing that's annoying! I was kinda upset about that, of course, so I spoke to a couple of the people I've made friends with since being here (who also know her) and they said they thought it was silly and that it would be better if she just told me. Which was reassuring, because I was getting paranoid that actually I'd been annoying everyone for five weeks, not just Jane (my housemate). After all, we've only been living together that long. It's pretty extreme that I've already pissed her off to that extent.
Anyways, we both went home this weekend, I saw Trev and all was lovely. I got back on Monday and she got back last night. I was hoping that she'd be feeling better about things after nearly a week with her bf, but since she got back? Not a word. Well, she called hello from her room when she got back, but other than that, nothing. And it's a bit difficult to stay positive about things when the person you are living with has apparently gone from liking you enough to decide to live with you to not speaking to you in five weeks.
Anyways, I just needed to get that out of my system.
I'm now sat in the internet cafe next door to my flat, since I don't have internet access at home yet. There's a man sat next to me, heavy breathing to the extent that I think he's going to keel over soon, puffing away on an extra long cigarette. Lovely. There are also two people with laughs that sound like asthma attacks. Yay.
I have my first class tomorrow - a FOUR HOUR seminar on Reflexivity in Literature and Film... oh well, if I feel like my German's bad right now, by four o clock tomorrow it should be fantastic - when discussing films, anyway. Just hoping I don't have to contribute too much in the first class!
How's everyone been, anyway?
First of all, I went home at the weekend, and now I feel like I've undone all the improvements I made in four weeks of intensive language course by speaking English for 4 days. It just feels completely stilted when I talk. (But at least I know what THAT is now auf Deutsch - 'abgehackt') Also, because I've finished the speaking course I haven't had anything to do for the last few days, and therefore haven't been seeing people as much as before. This wouldn't have been such a problem were it not for my main issue: my housemate is no longer talking to me.
I first noticed something was a bit off a couple of weeks ago, but put it down to the fact that Trev was about to arrive in Germany and she wasn't going to get to see her bf for another week. But then, last Monday, she stopped talking to me. By the end of Tuesday, when she was still barely saying a word, I asked her if anything was up. She said she was fine, it was just that she 'needed some space for certain things'. Of course, that was fine by me, I told her that if she ever needed me to leave her alone for a while that was fine. Also, we were no longer going to be forced the spend every day together because the speaking course was finished and so we wouldn't be in the same class for everything anymore.
However, then she said 'well, I do have some problems with you, but I don't think it's fair to tell you what they are when it's my issue not yours.' So now I feel like I'm doing something to annoy her, but I have to be on my best behaviour ALL THE TIME so as not to piss her off, since I don't know what it is I'm doing that's annoying! I was kinda upset about that, of course, so I spoke to a couple of the people I've made friends with since being here (who also know her) and they said they thought it was silly and that it would be better if she just told me. Which was reassuring, because I was getting paranoid that actually I'd been annoying everyone for five weeks, not just Jane (my housemate). After all, we've only been living together that long. It's pretty extreme that I've already pissed her off to that extent.
Anyways, we both went home this weekend, I saw Trev and all was lovely. I got back on Monday and she got back last night. I was hoping that she'd be feeling better about things after nearly a week with her bf, but since she got back? Not a word. Well, she called hello from her room when she got back, but other than that, nothing. And it's a bit difficult to stay positive about things when the person you are living with has apparently gone from liking you enough to decide to live with you to not speaking to you in five weeks.
Anyways, I just needed to get that out of my system.
I'm now sat in the internet cafe next door to my flat, since I don't have internet access at home yet. There's a man sat next to me, heavy breathing to the extent that I think he's going to keel over soon, puffing away on an extra long cigarette. Lovely. There are also two people with laughs that sound like asthma attacks. Yay.
I have my first class tomorrow - a FOUR HOUR seminar on Reflexivity in Literature and Film... oh well, if I feel like my German's bad right now, by four o clock tomorrow it should be fantastic - when discussing films, anyway. Just hoping I don't have to contribute too much in the first class!
How's everyone been, anyway?
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no subject
Date: 2007-10-18 02:06 am (UTC)I know what you mean about your German. Everytime I would go off with Americans and do the English thing for a weekend, I felt like it really put me off my German. Though by the end of the year, it didn't really make a difference because the German, like, got into my brain, lol.
Life in Boston is okay. I, too, am having some roommate problems, though not with the actual roommate, with her slightly jack-assy boyfriend. Sigh. I'm sad we're no longer in the same country :(
no subject
Date: 2007-10-18 01:04 pm (UTC)I saw your post about the roommate just now, that'S really annoying. I mean, I think I'm probably annoying for kissing Trev on escalators in the tube, but at least then I'm only annoying people I don't know! It's pretty unnecessary to do it in front of the people you live with.
Actually I have a cool picture on my phone that you will like, but I haven't had a chance to upload it yet. Hopefully I'll have internet at home in the next week or so, which will make everything a lot easier!
Anyway, you'll just have to come to Berlin at some point! Glad to hear the job hunt is going better, btw :)
no subject
Date: 2007-10-18 12:06 pm (UTC)Also - somehow I can say this better in English - your housemate and her passive-agressiveness just plain sucks! It's totally not fair to tell you she has issues with you but won't tell what they are. How the hell are you supposed to know what's bothering her? I'd call her on her shitty behaviour.
Dir ein schönes Wochenende!
no subject
Date: 2007-10-18 01:25 pm (UTC)I'm just waiting for the housemate situation to resolve itself, hopefully. I really don't like conflict but if it goes on much longer then I'm going to have to say something. Oh well, I've started classes now so I've actually got something to do, and I can meet new people and so on!
How's the new job going and so on? Und gleichweis :)